11.28.25 ~ i decided to create a new website because i dont remember the password and name of it. which i am relieved of me forgetting it because i kept redoing the website many times and it was very tiring to do. i had to relearn alot of html and css because i havent done it since i started school so im glad i actually got a chance to do it again. im thinking of sorting my writing by specific month and year when i have written a good bit. ok this is supposed to be short bye.

11.30.25 ~ today is making me quite...uh "sad"? im mostly upset that the month of november is ending -- and i dont know why i feel that way. im mostly a mix of irritated and upset at the same time. irritated = because i have a presentation tomorrow to do, and im not hundred percent sure that it is done, and we are supposed to write a final draft for our presentation this week coming up. and then another assigment due friday worth 159 points. it doesnt entirely help that half of the words and definitions are missing or isnt stated in some of the sources that our teacher gave us. im quite worried about that though, less than irritated,,,well maybe in between? ohhh...im just ready for the school year to be over, it is very exhausting. but good thing that christmas break is in...three weeks i believe. the 19th being a "early release" day. but i believe i will try my best with working on the things i need to get done, but in the back of my head, i just know itll be late or ill do it last mintue. i hope not, i hope not, but lucky thing -- im almost finished with the 159 points assignment. so i guess im on the right track. and i will do my best with my presentation. if i get to do it. this is quite the long one, but i dont really except anyone to read this.

12.24.25 ~ it is christmas eve! im pretty excited that christmas tomorrow because i have no idea what im going to get. to explain, i havent been on the computer the week before last week because i got sick. (somehow). last week while i was at school was pretty fun and fine because everybody else had to finals and not me!! heh!! im pretty happy of where i am at in school because this first and second term i had all A's (partically because i gotten a B in english). but i got it up to a 91. pretty fun pretty fun and more fun tomorrow!!~ the only thing i wished i asked for christmas is a badminton racket and birdie but uh, my parents will probably look at me weird if i asked for one.

12.27.25 ~ i dont know what to do. im stuck, i dont even know if i have ocd or not and its a question i ask (nearly) every day now. one day i think i have instrusive thoughts and then i think to myself and say in my head, "oh maybe its not a instrusive thought and its just something you actually thought or you like and believe in." its frustrating and it got to a point where i was to tell my mom about wanting a therapist (or considering one,, either or) but i have a feeling that if i were to ask that, that would just go into questions i dont want to answer. sometimes i go into deep thought and think "hey when did all of this manifest/start?" so let me explain, in middle school (about 6th grade or mid-late 6th grade) i had little slights of anxiety because i would hear someone threw up or ended up going home sick, and that would cause me to be anxious the whole entire day. then in 7th grade it got worse, where i would obsess over getting sick and (mostly focusing) on vomit or throwing up. one day, there was a time in 7th grade where i was anxious over illness and ended up not eating and having some sort of "downward spiral" you would call it. even in dreams the vomiting would be a core center of my dreams sometimes. it was a constant thought, even if i was not entirely consious that i was thinking about it. also, i would like to explain this -- i would have little slights of repeatly turning on things (ex. my lamp), heck, i got up in the middle of the night to turn on my device 7-8 times REPEATLY!! and now currently,